


The Fascination of What's Difficult

by alizarin_nyc



Category: Southland
Genre: M/M, Porn Battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-09
Updated: 2012-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-05 23:37:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/412284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alizarin_nyc/pseuds/alizarin_nyc





	The Fascination of What's Difficult

Ben has worn the crown of cute new boy for several hours now, pulling in phone numbers like fish from a barrel and he’s had more light beer than ought to be legally served in a dive like this. Sammy won’t stop crowing, as if he gave birth to Ben and scoring pussy is an Ivy League acceptance letter.

_Fuck this shit._

Ben’s in the bathroom when it hits him, right in the face along with the smell of piss and beer. He fucking misses Cooper. He fucking does. He misses his old partner, the stupid fuck. He loves Sammy like a brother already, but he’s not over Coop. Not by a long shot.

Not when he never got to say the things he wanted to, not when he never got to kick Coop in the ass for the things he put them through, and not when he never – and never would anyway – got to find out what it would be like to kiss Cooper. And that, is the stupidest fucking sentiment he’s ever had. It’s bad enough he wants to protect that motherfucker from stupid rumors. Bad enough he’s loyal to that prick. Worse still that he still has fucking feelings for the guy, and hey, Ben’s not even gay, how’s that for fucked up?

“Shit,” Ben says, banging out of the men’s and pushing aside the latest princess to have attached herself to his belt. “I’m outta here.”

“Aw, what?” Sammy says, and rolls off a list of reasons he can’t go, none of them making any logical sense. “Okay then, fuck you,” Sammy finally says, adding “more for me.” Ben wishes him well as the tawny sycophants close in.

The alcohol makes him a little confused, but he knows Sammy’s got their DD, so he takes his car and drives a couple of neighborhoods over to the place he learned a few weeks ago was Cooper’s regular place. His regular _gay bar_ , for fuck’s sake. Coop was sure not to be there, okay fine, but Ben was going to go anyway, on the off chance. Fuck him, he was so fucked.

Ben walks in, cruises by the bar, orders a jack and coke. He wants to ask around, to find Cooper quickly, but that’s not a good idea. So he leans back and lets the gay-boys and the old pervs have a look at him, lets them drink their fill. _That’s right you fucks, I’m a straight cop in a gay bar looking for my training officer because I fucking can’t stand to go another day without offering my ass to him. Fuck you._

“What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?” Cooper’s voice is mean and low in his ear.

“Cooper, hey.” Ben turns around and _jesus fuck_ , Cooper looks good. He looks amazing. He is the best thing Ben has ever seen. Cooper looks confused by what is probably a happy puppy dog look on Ben’s face. _Christ._ “I came here to find you.”

“They have this new thing?” Coop says. “It’s called a phone? You can _text_ people and never have to set foot in their personal territory.”

“You never return my calls or my texts.”

“Okay, they also have this thing? Called get a fucking clue, loser.”

“Fuck you, Cooper, I need to talk to you.” Ben can feel his face falling and shit, he has never been able to hide his feelings and he hates that about himself, but jesus, he is so happy to see Cooper, and his face is going back up into a smile. “Buy you a drink?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, _you_ buy me a drink, that’s a good one, a real hilarious end to a shitty day. Sure, buy it kid, go ahead.”

Ben is trying to crowd Cooper at the bar, desperate for intimacy and he’s already downed his drink, so he buys another and a straight up whiskey with a beer chaser for Cooper. _He kicked the drugs, but picked up the booze,_ Ben thinks, _but okay, I’m no prince here._

“So what do you want? Sammy not treating you well? Getting too much shit for shit you do that some shithead catches on video?”

“I’m not here about the job,” Ben says. “Really,” he insists at Cooper’s skeptical look. “I want to see more of you.”

“I’ve trimmed down, been working out, not much more to see of me,” Cooper quips. He drinks a big slug of the whiskey, so Ben presses ahead.

“I want to hang out.”

“I got friends, Boot.”

“I’m not a Boot anymore, I’m your friend. I want to be. Come over tomorrow night.”

“Easy, kid. We were never friends. You’re a thickheaded, privileged little prick who needs to learn all of life’s lessons three times before they sink in. I’m not going to hang out at your prissy little douche-cave.”

Ben stares at Cooper, hurt. Nothing Cooper hasn’t seen before. “What does it take for someone to get close to you?” he asks, before he has time to think about how lame that question will sound.

Cooper snorts. He picks up his beer. Some beefy guy tries to squeeze in beside Ben at the bar and Cooper motions him away. Cooper drinks, and looks completely puzzled. “What do you want, Ben?”

“This,” Ben says and grabs Cooper’s head in both hands. He doesn’t pull -- he pushes himself into Cooper’s space, and puts his lips on Cooper’s. He is going to get punched, so he tries to stay relaxed and ready. The blow to his face never comes. Cooper still looks angry and he doesn’t respond to the kiss.

“Are you recording this? This some kind of prank?”

“John, we went through a lot, man. And the shooting at the precinct? Fuck me, man. No, _no_ I’m not pulling a prank and I’m not joking around and _fuck_.” He is so bad at this. Why can’t this be as easy as it is with the girls?

“You gay?” Cooper is looking at him straight in the eye.

“No.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I don’t either.”

“Want to get out of here?”

“Hell yeah.”

Back at Cooper’s place – the nearest – things are awkward for about three minutes. Cooper offers Ben a beer and Ben takes it. He sets it down, though, and trails after Cooper as he fusses around in his kitchen, trying to clean a mess only he can see.

“Leave it, John. Kiss me. Please.”

“This is bullshit,” Cooper says, but strides over to Ben anyway and bends him backward with the force of his kiss. His hands are huge and fold over Ben’s biceps and Ben is more than happy to be manhandled. Jesus fuck, it’s scary and it’s sexy. He _wants_ to be manhandled for Christ’s sake.

Cooper maneuvers them into the bedroom and continues to devour Ben’s mouth. The bed is made and the shades are up and they crash down onto the bed in what seems like full view of the neighborhood. Ben doesn’t care. He rips off his t-shirt and kicks off his shoes. He wants Cooper right now, near him, on him, in him, whatever he can get. He had no idea how hot he was for this man, but his eyes are open now. He scrambles to get out of his clothes, he tugs on Cooper’s clothes, all while keeping his mouth sealed to Cooper’s.

“Easy, easy,” Cooper breaks the kiss and shakes him a little. “You ever done this before?”

“Not with someone else,” Ben says. “It’s okay, don’t – I just need you. Okay? Come on.” He tries to smooth over Cooper’s doubt. He kisses his way down to Cooper’s stomach and pulls Cooper’s jeans all the way off so he can see him. They face each other on the bed, kneeling. Ben goes down first, he can’t stop. He’s never given a guy head before but he has had plenty of blowjobs, it can’t be that foreign a concept. Cooper smells like Cooper, only more intimate. Ben sucks on his cock and licks it and wraps his tongue around it. He hums and he grips Cooper’s hips to create a rhythm. He’ll be devastated if he doesn’t get to try this again sometime with Cooper.

Now, though, he wants more. He resumes kissing and soon Cooper has him down on the bed, their cocks bumping together as he takes control of the situation. “Fuck me,” Ben begs.

“God, kid, I never knew this side of you,” Cooper says, still sounding fairly dubious. “Turn around, get on all fours.” Ben happily complies. His hangover tomorrow is going to kill him, and he’s only adding to the list of hurts, but right now he doesn’t care.

Cooper gets two fingers in his ass and it’s uncomfortable as fuck. Ben puts his own hand on his dick and strokes it back into action. He feels Cooper grab his balls and that helps a lot. Soon the fingers feel great and Cooper is pulling firmly on his balls. He’s cursing a blue streak. Once Cooper has the condom on, he pushes slightly into Ben and warns him he’s gonna take his time. Ben whimpers and wants to protest, but he doesn’t want Cooper to _stop_ so they can have that conversation. He digs his fingers into the bed sheets, drops his head down and shuts the hell up. He’s never wanted anything so fucking bad before. The slow burn and stretch seems to take hours and again, Ben’s cock flags. Once Cooper is all the way in, he reaches under Ben’s arms, holds him tightly and puts his head on Ben’s back.

“I never thought this would happen in a million years,” he says. “But jesus, you feel good. I want to fuck you into the neighbor’s yard.”

“Do it,” is about all Ben can say, pinned as he is by Cooper’s cock and the strong arms around him. “Just do it.”

Cooper’s not quite as rough as Ben thinks he might be, but he’s firm, and he pulls out and pushes back into Ben with relentless precision. After a bit he pushes Ben down with a hand between his shoulder blades and then grabs his hips and re-angles his cock. Ben nearly screams as Cooper’s cock hits his prostate, and then he’s jerking himself frantically and his body is tightening up around Cooper.

Once Ben has come, Cooper spends a few minutes fucking him leisurely and then more ferociously until he comes, too, jerking and shuddering and biting Ben’s shoulder.

“Fuck. Amazing,” Cooper says, stripping off his condom and throwing it in the trash. “Hurt you?”

“No, no, it was amazing, Christ, you heard me yelling.”

“I think half the neighborhood did.”

Ben leans down to kiss Cooper and Cooper pulls away. “Hey. John?”

“Got what you wanted, now get out.” The afterglow is over, apparently, and the walls are back in place.

“Fuck you,” Ben says, and lies back down.

“Get out Boot, before I throw your ass out.” Cooper gets up and puts on a t-shirt and boxers. “I got things to do.”

“It’s three o’clock in the morning. Let me stay.”

“Ben,” Cooper sighs. “This isn’t going to be like you think it is. But I was horny and this worked out okay. Now go find some other nice man to be your daddy.”

Ben can feel his face betray him. Dammit. Fuck. He gets up, gets dressed and drives home. He looks at himself in the mirror. He looks away. _Fuck._  



End file.
